Finding Your True Self

How do we find our true self? How do we know what we are truly meant to be? And the answer is: in our body. Yes, it does sound strange and unusual, but it is indeed in our body. In our feelings, in our emotions.

Listening to "Yes"

We all have had moments in the past when we were immersed in some activity so much, that we forget the time, we forget ourselves, and all we are aware of is the flow of the moment. Remember? All you know is the joy of being in the moment, the joy of being who you are while doing what you're doing. In that moment, you are the activity. There is nothing else. It could be something simple, like drawing, or singing, or walking in a forest, or looking at the ocean. Or it could be writing a book, solving a difficult mathematical problem, or millions of other things. It might even be working in the office! It doesn't matter what exactly it is. What's important is that you lost the sense of time, you forgot yourself, you are completely dissolved in that activity. Remember that feeling. Remember the emotions that overwhelm you in that moment. These emotions are the indicator that in that moment you are aligning with your True Self, and being who you are always meant to be. Remember these emotions, how they feel, and where in your body you feel them. This is precisely the language in which our true self communicates to us, saying "Yes! This is it! This is definitely a part of true me!".

Of course, that does not necessarily mean that such an activity is the entire true you - of course not. But it certainly means that it is an important part of our True Self. This is definitely something we want and desire to do.

Notice these moments. Remember them. Whenever such a moment happens again, take a mental note of it, or better yet, write it down into your journal or dairy. Realize, that this is an activity that you truly love doing, an activity that excites you, brings you sincere joy and happiness.

This is how our True Self says "Yes." Mark this feeling in your mind, and start looking for it in your daily life.

Listening to "No"

On the other hand, there are some activities that you may despise. It often happens when our Social Self strongly imposes something that we hate to do. It could be a notorious bureaucratic paperwork, like filing taxes. It could be a project at work that really excites your boss, but for some reason you find yourself looking for every distraction and all sorts of excuses not to do it. You start cleaning your desk, incessantly checking your email, go for another cup of coffee, and when everything else is out of the way, and you know you are ready to begin the project, you start glancing at your phone in the wild hope that, by some fortuitous coincidence, your friend will ring you this very moment and save you from having to do the work. You basically keep sabotaging yourself to avoid the "necessary" but unpleasant activity. Sounds familiar?

Remember that feeling too, however unpleasant it might be at the moment. How do you feel it? Where do you feel it in your body? Take a mental note of it, and make sure you recognize it next time it happens. This is very important because that's how our True Self says "No."

Yes, you can!

Of course, once in a while we simply have to do something we don't like. It's a reality. However, if we only do what we despise, we clearly will not go very far. We have to balance it out with something we truly love to do, or better yet, replace it. Yes, it is absolutely possible to turn our passion into a way of life!

Moreover, living our dream will often pay off much more in the long run than following the "good advice" or "common sense" of our modern culture. It pays off not only emotionally, but even financially and in terms of social success. Look at the most successful people: they are all hugely successful in what they truly love. So, chances are, if we start doing what we are truly passionate about, we may be on the way to success beyond any expectations!

Does it sound hard to believe? Are you waving your hand away thinking, "Uh, those rosy dreams!..." Aren't you?

Of course, this is only natural, because many of us have a few more obstacles to overcome before subscribing to the idea of changing our lives. And the first, and perhaps, the hardest kind of obstacles are our own limiting beliefs.

How do we overcome our limiting beliefs? How do we replace them with empowering beliefs instead? Find out on the next page, or Subscribe to Midlife Skills Newsletter and receive specific tips and techniques right in your mailbox.

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